The war for your health.

August 23, 2015

There is a war going on right now that most people do not know about. I have been keeping up with its advancements and after reading the last article, I decided to share my views. This won’t be the neatest article in terms of writing, its more of a vent, so bear with me. 


There is a war going on between the doers, and the pencil pushers. Between people trying to make peoples lives better, and people trying to make money off of people. It’s the battle for the freedom to take your heath into your own hands. It’s a battle so sick, and ridiculous, that if the wrong side wins, Svenn, myself, Silje, all of the coaches at all the Crossfit gyms, could face up to 12 months in jail for teaching you how to air squat. An action that would be classified as a “misdemeanor of a high and aggravated nature”. This is Crossfit vs. USREPS + Coca-Cola + CREP +N NSCA . This is in the United States, but the groups have international power, and it is likely that their efforts will spread. Maybe even to Norway.


I’ll try to give a simple breakdown. 


The easiest way to summarize this licensure lawsuit, is by saying that Crossfit’s competitors are sick of losing, and have decided to play dirty, by making the Crossfit Box model illegal, as well as practising as a coach/trainer with a Crossfit Level 1 Certification illegal. USREPS (United States Registry of Exercise Professionals), and CREPS (Coalition of Registered Exercised Professionals), want to require all Crossfit Coaches to take their certifications (a money-grab), or be charged with a misdemeanour punishable by months in jail, or thousands of dollars in fines. Their hope is that instead of going to jail, Crossfit instructors will simply take their certification instead. Why not just take the test then? Well, for me, I’d have to say its just the damn principle, but also, their certification is useless. Below is a picture of what they consider a maximum depth squat, and no I'm not joking, this is from their certification textbook. Is this functional? Try falling down, and then standing up without bending your legs more than this. Try playing a football game like that, or hiking up to Preikestolen without bending your knees past 90 degress. Good luck. These terds also are trying to get muscle soreness classified as an injury. 



It is no secret, that to become a Crossfit Coach, all you need to do is take a weekend course, and pass a multiple choice test. On the surface this might seem like a pretty lenient way to become certified, but as they say in the Level 1, the Level 1 does not make you a coach, this is only the beginning, now go out and continue to learn. However, when compared to the competitors, it blows their certifications out of the water. The USREPS and NSCA certification that they want Crossfit instructors to take involves no coaching on how to coach exercises, horrible movement patterns like this squat, and is basically a simple lesson of anatomy. These people can become certified without ever having performed any of the movements themselves. Somehow, this is safer than a weekend course, in which every participant is required to go through all of the movements themselves before teaching them. 


These ass clowns go on to claim that Crossfit is extremely dangerous, and has led to six deaths, a claim which was later proved to be fabricated, and that taking their certifications will make things safer. However, a study was conducted of 569 Crossfit Affiliates to determine whether coaches having the NSCA or CREPS certifications influenced injury rates in Crossfit, and it was found that it had no influence on injury rates. 


The licensure is only the first step to their evil plan. Not only do they want every Crossfit instructor to have to take their meaningless certification, but they want exercise to be considered health care, paid for by your insurance, and controlled by the government. This is no joke, and this is also where Coca-Cola comes in to the picture. 


Coca-Cola partnered with the ACSM (American College of Sports Medicine), and came up with the initiative (marketing plan), of “Exercise is Medicine.” Sure, it is, but not when they say it. USREPS is now on board as well. Their goal is to make gyms more like doctors’ offices. Under the Coca-Cola/USREPS plan, doctors will refer their clients to fitness trainers and health care coverage will pay for the fitness training. The government will only allow trainers with ACSM, NSCA and other similar certifications to practice in this scenario.


 What does this mean for you?


You won’t have a choice as to what kind of exercise you would like to perform, for yourself. You’ll have to go to a doctor, who will then refer you to someone a trainer of their choice, who is only certified to teach you how to squat above parallel, and potentially has had zero hours of instruction on how to coach the movements they will give you.


Want to learn how to Snatch? Nope, that’s illegal.


Want to learn how to do a muscle up? Nope, that’s illegal, your health-care insurance isn’t covering that. 


Maybe you’re feeling spicy and want to do a super “dangerous” workout like 3 rounds of: 400m run, 15 box jumps, and 10 air squats BELOW PARELLEL!!!! Nope, that’s illegal. Have a coca-cola instead, and go to your trainer who will teach you how to do a leg press, on a white machine, then hit the elliptical while reading a magazine full of coca-cola ads. 


Why does Coca-Cola care about your exercise? 


Because they’re fucking evil, and want you to continue drinking their poison. Coca-Cola is beginning to push the idea that the obesity issue in the western world isn’t because of sugary drinks like coca-cola, but instead because people do not exercise enough. They are pushing the idea of energy balance, which in itself is a relevant nutritional strategy, but only when paired with healthy foods. Coca-Cola wants to make it illegal for your trainer to tell you to stop drinking coca-cola, and would prefer your trainer to tell you that it’s okay to drink their poison, as long as you exercise more. Remember 1 can of coke has 140 calories, all from sugar. Next time you’re in the gym, see what a 140 calorie row feels like. Now picture someone who doesn’t exercise trying to do that daily, just so they can drink their coke. The other thing they are missing is how sugar reacts in the body. Those 140 calories from sugar, ARE NOT equal to 140 calorie from Broccoli, or lean ground beef, or almonds. 




I have trouble believing that this is going to become a reality. Greg Glassman, CEO of Crossfit Inc. is fighting hard against these lawsuits and bills. He is fighting the pencil pushers and bureaucrats. He sees it as a war for the people’s health. And when he speaks about what he is up against, you can tell he is bewildered, that this is actually a fight that needs to happen. It paints a sad picture of our western world, and our government. AThis is what tax payers dollars are going towards. It is truly a “Nanny-state” if we are told by our doctors how to exercise. Also, it shows you how weak and pathetic the competitors of Crossfit are. If you can't beat em, sue them. Make it illegal for people to chose the better, more effective product (Crossfit). The old way is scared of the new, better way, and its clinging on for dear life out of fear of becoming irrelevant. 


As a fun little thought experiment, I pictured what will I personally do if these bills become a reality, and my training of other people becomes illegal. I can be pretty stubborn, and I generally stick to my own viewpoints, unless I am provided with logically sound evidence that disproves my thinking. In this case with USREPS, that logic simply does not exist, so I cannot see myself ever backing down and taking their shitty certification. Again, it’s the damn principle of the thing. I have been coaching Crossfit for almost 6 years, and have seen how much positive change it can bring into peoples' lives. I won't stop coaching, illegal or not. 


I pictured the year 2025, years after Crossfit became illegal. A world full of underground Crossfit gyms, with a ring of underground black market Crossfit Coaches. Crossfit Invictus still exists, but has to be accessed through the Dark Web. I picture owning an illegal gym.  Mine would be out in a forest somewhere, off the grid. It would be full of illegal activities, like soft-tissue release with lacrosse balls, olympic lifting, metcons, burpees, and wall balls. I'd even provide forbidden literature from Black Market authors like Robb Wolf ("The Paleo Solution"). You’d have to know someone to find a Crossfit Guy. Perhaps we would be called Health Dealers. The most difficult adjustment for dedicated Crossfitters was having to stop posting everything on Instagram for fear of having their gym raided. 


Police would be patrolling the streets looking for “users”. How would they spot them? They’d be carrying water bottles instead of coke cans, they would have good posture, eating vegetables in public, and have physiques that used to be considered normal, but now stood out like sore thumbs. Underground boxes would be raided, and coaches sent to jail. 


I have never thought of myself as political, but if the time comes, perhaps its now, when we have to fight the government for control of our health. I’ll be a damn revolutionary. I won’t stop teaching people what I believe in, and have seen improve peoples live's since I started coaching 6 years ago. 


Below is an illustration from an artist named Steve Cutts. It couldn't be more relevant to the above rant. This is perhaps a hyperbolic view of what the powers that be want. Let's not let it happen. 





Your ticked off, future illegal coach,


Myles Jeffers


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